Keys to Being A Better Woman

How to be a better man:

1. Quit acting like you have PMS, and maybe we won’t bitch about it.  I’d much rather have pms than act like it for no reason.

2. We need support during pregnancy, so stop acting like everything is “over exaggerated”.  You try going through that shit for nine months.  And the horror doesn’t stop after birth.  When the baby wakes up in the middle of the night, why don’t we take turns waking up instead of you acting like you didn’t hear the baby SCREAMING? 

3. How about actually getting home on time if you want supper ready for you?  Oh boo hoo, you worked all day.  Well, so did I.  And I have way more jobs than you do.  And when you say you’re gonna be home at 6:30 but are running late, fucking tell me!  I can’t snap my fingers and have dinner ready.

4. Clean house?  Why don’t you fucking clean up after yourself?  How hard is it to refill toilet paper when you’ve used the last of it.  Or how about washing your own damn dish after eating off of it?  Do I really look like a slave?  Mommy may have picked up after you, but I’m not your Mommy.  I have no problem picking up a bit, cleaning windows, vacuuming and the works while you’re at your job, but if you can’t pick up after yourself then fuck that.

5. You act like being a homemaker some easy gravy job.  Please.  Try it for a week or so.  Especially when your man is a slob.

6. Why don’t you keep your weight down?  Or when we keep our weight down, why not say “Damn baby you look good” once in a while?  Is it really that hard? 

This post was uncalled for. 

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