Sanctioning Domestic Violence

It’s a difficult question. I’ve never been the victim of physical domestic violence, but for 6 years I put up with the emotional and financial abuse of living with a heroin/crack addict who became an alcoholic when he finally got off drugs. Women are natural “nurturers”… we want to believe that we can make a difference – “love of a good woman” and all that crap. So we put up with it, believe the lies, and go through cyclical stages of abuse – remission – abuse – remission. Love plays a strong part in what we put up with, also the not wanting to accept that we’re idiots for believing that we can be so wrong about a person. And I’m sure that this whole general topic can be fit the other way around too – men can be as much victims of abuse from the women they live with.

The only thing that is bringing this question to the fore is the fact that Rhiannon and Chris Brown are celebrities, and they can hardly fart without it making the news. I do agree that as a “role model” to the young girls who adore her, then her actions in forgiving Brown could be dangerous. But she’s also a person in her own right, with the entitlement to do as she wishes with her private (which never will be) life. But she needs to tread carefully – that man could have killed her. Like someone else commented – “Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice… shame on me”.

I could forgive the “once”, in the heat of the moment, though it would be hard to hold any trust towards that person anymore. But a second time, for physical abuse? You wouldn’t see my back for dust. That’s just preservation of your own life.

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