The Twilight Movie: A Guide

As a man of science, I cannot approve of the Twilight series.

First and foremost, most animals reproduce to pass along our genetic material and our genes after death. It’s a way to keep your bloodline going and the only way any of us can “live forever” (if not, then something close to it). However, why require sexual reproduction if you’re immortal? You’re pretty much guaranteed eternal life and have no need to produce offspring. Not only that, but why a human and why sexually? I thought vampires were able to convert humans by draining them of their blood, shouldn’t that be a suitable form of reproduction in itself?
ALSO, as a creature of the dead, or “undead”, your bodily functions should’ve shut down a long time ago. No heartbeat, no blood flow, nothing. How the hell can a male sprout an erection if he has no pulse? Rigor mortis?

Last but not least, vampires don’t real and Meyer raped a thesaurus writing that abomination of a book.

I hath spoken.

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