The U.S. Is More Awesome Than Other Countries

“America totally kicks ass. Strongest nation on Earth. Nobody can kick our ass. Nobody can intimidate us, because we don’t give a fuck. We are motherfucking hard like a gangsta with a nine by our side. Except there’s no five-O gonna roll up and beat

our

ass down. And we’re not really criminals, because there’s no international law. No international law, because there’s no international courts. And there are no international courts because we refuse to recognize

any

court that might ever try to stop us from doing whatever the fuck we want.

No trials, no courts, no laws for America. So we can do whatever the

fuck

we want. And we’re not even criminals.

Doesn’t that fucking kick ass?

What an excellent country!

And we’ve gotten rid of the hypocrisy too. We used to make bullshit excuses for whatever it is we wanted to do. We would tell the world it was ’cause of human rights, or because the country was a dictatorship, or attacked first—we don’t do that anymore. We don’t make bullshit excuses, because we understand now. We don’t have to justify ourselves. We don’t have to tell the rest of the world shit. We do whatever the fuck we want for one reason, and one reason only: because we can.

And all those other countries, they can suck our dick. They can bend over and take it up the ass, because the rest of the world is America’s bitch. Half the world works for pennies a day to make us fat and rich. The deal is, maybe they get to eat, and we get cheap clothes, cheap oil, whatever we want, and if they don’t like it they can suck on it, because the rest of the world is America’s bitch.

Because we are the lone superpower. And all the other little countries and continents are mere mortals at best. They are like the homeless: we just step over them on the way to steppin’ on somebody else. They aren’t worth the time it takes to piss in their mouth. We don’t care. We’re America. We kick ass!

What are they gonna do? Arrest us? Ostracize us? Gang up on us? Let them fuckin’ try; we are America and we will

fuck

them up! If they

ever

fuck with us, we will just shake it off and use it as an excuse to fuck them up some more. And the more they try to hurt us, the more medieval on their asses we will get. Because we can.

Because America is all-powerful. America kicks ass. And America doesn’t have to answer to anybody. Unless, and until, God or the space aliens come to kick our ass.”

-John S. Hall

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