Xanga Friendships

They keep treating me like trash, like it’s all my fault I am mentally disabled. I ignore their attacks on my weaknesses, they keep attacking without remorse, I show patience, their attacks are relentless, probing for more weaknesses in my character. ”You are weak.” Is the message of each blow. I feed their egos with my complete moronic incompetence. ” There is no god for you.” They laugh. ” Karma! Karma!” they chant.

I swallow my pride. It’s not that I believe my life is rich and valuable, I just don’t like complaining. What hurts me the most is the sex I will never have. I am horny everyday, my body was meant for sex, yet this meaning of life is forbidden to me. ” Hahaha, is there a heaven?” they ask. One chance at life, that one chance wasted. Even so, I am fine. I am fine be there no god. When I am dead, I will have no regrets. So if there is no god, what is to stop someone from pulling out a gun in public?

It’s not that I believe in god’s grace, but, my insanity does not faze me. I am happy the way I am. I may never know sex, but, there is more to life than sex, to be at peace with oneself, even if you’re insane is much better than a miserable normal woman who sleeps with black guys, has one night stands, treats her body like it belongs to the community, and although whores can enjoy sex, my heart says a woman who treats sex so casually may not go to hell, but it is WRONG, there must be a reason why such behavior should be scorned, yet some hoes can bang two guys a night and feel satisfied with their sex life. Do they have issues, or am I a sore loser for believing sexual restraint is much superior to promiscuity?

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